


Roots and Wings Part Two

by theramblinrose



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Baby Fic, Developing Friendships, F/M, Family, First Baby, Fluff, JetC, Multi, Sekaya Shannon Janeway, j/c - Freeform, making their own family, some episode rewrites, taking liberties, voyager is growing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2020-04-06 21:01:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19070602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theramblinrose/pseuds/theramblinrose
Summary: Janeway/Chakotay, Paris/Torres.  Lost in the Delta Quadrant, they were a long way from what they had once called home.  Together, however, they were building a new home where all of them could thrive.  They were building a life and providing for a future.  (Whole crew involvement)





	1. Chapter 1

AN: Here we are, the first chapter in this part of the story. It picks up on Voyager, right after the end of the first part. 

If you haven’t read the first part, then I imagine it might answer a lot of questions for you along the way with this part. At any rate, though, you can probably muddle your way through things without it if you’d like. 

I am so happy to welcome all of you back that have come over from the first part, and I welcome any new readers. I hope you can find some enjoyment and escape in this little story. It’s purely for entertainment and enjoyment. It’s a bit of self-indulgent writing for me. 

I own nothing from the show and the only profit that I make is the connection I find with you. Your comments and interactions are my payment and I thank you for all of them! It keeps me writing! 

I hope that you enjoy the start! Let me know what you think! 

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In nothing more than a pair of cotton boxer shorts, Chakotay stood in the moonlight. There was nobody around to see him. He could have worn even less. The grass under his feet was cool and soft—not prickly as grass could sometimes be.

The night was still. He could hear the sounds of crickets chirping and frogs bellowing out from the river that ran close to the cabin. The air was cool and easy to breathe. 

It was a perfect night.

And in his arms, Chakotay held what he was certain was the most perfect thing to ever be created in the entire universe.

Her name was Sekaya Shannon Janeway. She was hours old and she had a wealth of dark hair and dark blue eyes that could change their shade a great deal in the first six months of her life. She was his daughter—brought into the world by his wife and the most amazing woman that he was sure had ever walked the ground on any planet or travelled the skies in any of the four quadrants.

“A-koo-chee-moya,” Chakotay whispered, the breezeless night letting even his quietest words carry, “we are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers, and from the bones of our people, but I come seeking the opportunity to give thanks to all the spirits that have brought us to this point. I come to give thanks that my wife is well and that she’s strong. I come to give thanks for the daughter that the spirits have blessed us with. I come to humbly ask for the spirits to continue to guide us as we seek a way home and we try to live the best we can each day. I come to ask the spirits that they would guide Kaya, my daughter, as she grows, and that they would guide her mother and I as we try to lead her down the right paths. But spirits—more than anything—I simply come to give thanks. I am far more blessed than I ever dreamed I could be.”

The spirits didn’t answer him, but Chakotay had already learned that sometimes their answer came in the form of no answer at all. He wasn’t seeking visions, after all, so he shouldn’t expect to have any. He only wanted to give thanks and ask for continued blessings. There was no need for a great show over that. 

Kaya slept soundly in the soft pajamas and light blanket that her mother had chosen for her first night outside of the warm space that Kathryn Janeway’s body had provided her for the past nine months. 

She had no reason to complain that it was too hot or too cold. The weather was perfect.

Of course, Chakotay knew that it was perfect because he’d programmed it to be that way. If he wanted, he could give the command to the computer that it stir up a light storm—some gentle rain to give them something to listen to while they rested in the cabin—and it would come to pass immediately. He could, if he wanted, change night to day in an instant. 

He wasn’t a god, of course, but the holodecks made him something of a god. 

Kathryn Janeway wasn’t a god, either, but the fact that he was holding the practically perfect person in his arms, which she’d brought into the world only hours before, made her seem nearly divine to Chakotay. 

He readjusted the nearly weightless bundle of his daughter and took her inside the cabin. Her mother slept hard and soundly, and Chakotay was careful not to disturb her. He wanted her to rest since rest was the primary thing that their doctor had prescribed to help her recover from the birth. 

Chakotay walked carefully and quietly into the bedroom. He could hear Kathryn breathing. The light from the programmed stars outside illuminated the room just enough that he could see that she was sleeping on her back with her arms thrown around in abandon and the blanket tangled around her. She’d tied her hair back to keep it out of the way during the birth of their daughter, but now it was mostly loose and it trailed in every which direction over the pillow and bed.

Not much more than a year ago, Chakotay would have found it hard to believe that she would ever love him or that he would ever be able to openly love her. Now he couldn’t begin to imagine what life would be like if she wasn’t his to love.

He dared to carefully lean over—mindful of neither disturbing her nor Kaya—to brush his lips gently against her temple. She didn’t flinch and he smiled to himself. He took the baby with him and left the room. He slipped into the nursery that had been created just for Kaya in their holohome, even though she’d never seen it before, and he settled into the rocking chair to rock the baby while she dreamed of whatever her very short life might have to offer her subconscious mind.

“Let me tell you a story,” Chakotay said. “It’s about an angry warrior who lived in conflict with the rest of his tribe and the woman warrior, who was brave, and beautiful, and very wise, who taught him the true meaning of peace…” 

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“We don’t have to run, Chakotay,” Kathryn said. 

“We’re hardly running,” Chakotay said. Still, he thought better of it and slowed his steps for her benefit. His stride was a good deal longer than hers and, though the doctor was able to do a great deal to help her recover from the birth with the help of a dermal regenerator, there was still a lot of healing that only time would do for her. 

Kathryn was a little pale, Chakotay thought, but the doctor had assured him that she was doing well. She needed to rest, but that would be a normal prescription for anyone immediately after bringing another of their species into the world. 

If anyone saw her, without knowing the truth, in her soft cotton dress, padding back toward their actual quarters aboard Voyager, they would have thought she was still pregnant—though she didn’t appear to be quite as pregnant as she had when she’d walked to the holodeck the last time with B’Elanna Torres. That too, would pass, Chakotay was sure, and he wasn’t about to mention it to Kathryn.

She walked slowly beside him carrying the bag that held a few of her belongings and some of Kaya’s things. Chakotay carried the baby as Kathryn had insisted he should.

“Don’t jostle her too much,” Kathryn said.

“She’s fine,” Chakotay assured her. “I’m not jostling her, Kathryn. Did you want to carry her?” 

Kathryn sighed. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. 

“You’re concerned,” Chakotay said. “And that’s fine. She’s sleeping. She likes the motion. That’s why she had me up most of the night walking her around our New Earth—trying to satisfy her need to be on the move.”

“I’m sorry for that, too,” Kathryn said. “You hardly slept at all.”

“I wasn’t in labor for nineteen hours,” Chakotay said. “I’m sure I’ll recover.”

“Do we have to go by sickbay?” Kathryn asked.

“Our quarters,” Chakotay said. “The doctor’s making a house call this time. He’ll be making house calls for a couple of days. He wants you to rest.”

On their walk, they were fortunate not to run into too many crew members. The ones they did run into, though, rubbernecked them—their eyes trailing to try to catch a good glimpse of Kaya as she slumbered in Chakotay’s arms—but none of them were bold enough to stop or ask to see the baby up-close. They were respecting their captain’s privacy for the time being and allowing her to decide when and how she wanted to introduce the newest arrival to the crew.

Chakotay knew that Kathryn knew they couldn’t wait long, though, when they were almost to their quarters and one of the young ensigns, rubbernecking to try to catch some glimpse of the baby, collided awkwardly with another who wasn’t paying attention to where they were going for the same reason. The two crew members apologized to each other and somewhat uncomfortably apologized to the air around them so that it could carry their apologies wherever necessary, and then they scurried off. 

Kathryn smiled at Chakotay when he made eye contact with her. 

“I think it’s time we made our announcement,” Kathryn said. 

“I think they’ve waited long enough,” Chakotay agreed. “But whenever you’re ready. I don’t want to rush you. You don’t have to share her with anyone until you’re ready.”

“Except for you,” Kathryn said, a smile playing at her lips.

“Was there ever any question?” Chakotay responded with a laugh. He pressed the button to let them into their quarters and he followed behind Kathryn. As soon as they were inside, Kathryn dropped the bag she was carrying in the middle of the floor to be dealt with later, and she flicked off the slip-on shoes that she liked wearing when she padded back and forth to the holodeck. She stretched and groaned, making it quite clear to Chakotay that she could still stand some rest, and she went directly to the replicator and demanded a cup of coffee with cream.

She’d once preferred her coffee black, but carrying their daughter had brought about a taste for cream—along with several other changes to her taste buds. Chakotay didn’t know if her taste would return to what they had been with time, but for the time being she seemed to prefer things as she’d gotten used to them during the past nine months.

“Caffeine, Kathryn?” Chakotay asked.

“The doctor said it was fine in moderation,” Kathryn said. “One cup is moderation.”

“You need to rest,” Chakotay said.

“I’ve been waiting nine months for this cup of coffee,” Kathryn said. She tasted the liquid and licked her lips seductively with satisfaction after she swallowed the first sip. She moaned, too, and tossed her head back with the kind of satisfaction that only good coffee or an equally satisfactory orgasm could ever bring her. 

It was a sudden reminder to Chakotay that he meant to ask the doctor exactly how long they would have to wait before he was able to offer Kathryn more than the cup of coffee to stimulate her senses.

“Besides,” Kathryn said, recovering from the pleasure of that first taste of one of her most favorite vices, “giving birth to Kaya was—hands down—one of the most exhausting things I’ve ever done in my life. I could sleep a year if I were given the opportunity.”

“Maybe you don’t have a year,” Chakotay said, “but you’ve got time.”

Kathryn walked around to the couch, put the coffee mug down on the table, and then came toward Chakotay with her arms outstretched. She didn’t have to say it for Chakotay to know what she wanted.

“Let me see her,” Kathryn breathed out with the tone of voice that seemed to already belong almost exclusively to Kaya. “Oh—look at you,” she sighed when Chakotay made the transfer of the infant to her arms. “Look at how beautiful you are. And how—special.”

Chakotay swallowed down his laughter. He followed Kathryn as she made her way back to the couch and settled down with the baby in her arms. She cradled her and rocked her a little. She touched her hands and her face. She hadn’t moved beyond looking at her like she couldn’t believe she was real. Chakotay understood the sentiment. He couldn’t stop looking at the baby like she couldn’t possibly exist.

“Voyager,” Kathryn said, touching her combadge, “this is your captain speaking. I want to thank Commander Tuvok for acting in my absence. I’m here with Commander Chakotay and we’re going to have to ask a few more days of absence. I have—in my arms—someone who would like to meet you all. I know you’ve all been anticipating her arrival, almost as much as we have. You’ve been calling her the first baby for the longest time, but now there’s more that you can call her. There’s more that you can know about her. Her name is Sekaya Shannon Janeway, but she’ll answer to Kaya most of the time. I know you’d all like to know a little bit about her, so I’ll tell you that she was born weighing six pounds and one ounce. She’s twenty-two inches long and her hair is dark like her father’s. She already has her father’s dimples, too.”

Chakotay laughed to himself and touched his combadge to tap into her line. 

“This is Commander Chakotay,” he said. “I just wanted to add that Kaya already has her mother’s eyes, even if the captain might forget to tell you that. And she and her mother are doing well. We appreciate that you are all respecting our privacy as we take this time to get to know our little one.”

“But we’re also looking forward to letting you all meet Kaya and to letting Kaya get to know her Voyager family. We hope you’re going to love her, and we know she’s going to love all of you. We hope that—you’ll join us in a few days to welcome her.”

“But until that time,” Chakotay said, “we do appreciate your giving us the opportunity to get her settled. Chakotay out.” 

Kathryn smiled at him. 

“Janeways out,” she said. “Captain and first baby respectively.”


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Here we are, another chapter here. (So much fun stuff to come!)

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

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Kes came around in the doctor’s place to make sure that Kathryn and Kaya were getting settled into their quarters. Chakotay held Kaya while Kes made sure that Kathryn was well, and then he offered over the baby for inspection. After she was satisfied that they were both well and simply needed to continue on as they were, Kes asked Chakotay to walk her out.

In the corridor, Kes got close enough to Chakotay that they wouldn’t be overheard if someone were to pass by, though, at that moment, they were alone. She passed him a PADD that she’d brought with her when she’d come.

“What’s this?” Chakotay asked.

“I know you like reading about what’s to come,” Kes said. “I’ve spent a lot of time scouring the ship’s information on postpartum care. You’ve got information here about healing, breastfeeding…probably a great deal that you aren’t interested in knowing.”

Chakotay laughed to himself and nodded.

“But you knew I’d want some of it,” Chakotay said.

“The doctor’s notes are also in there,” Kes said. “That’s what will likely interest you the most. He just compiled some quick notes about care and healing that you might want to look over.”

“Thank you,” Chakotay said with another nod of his head. “I’ll read over it while Kaya’s napping later—especially if I can convince Kathryn to take a nap at the same time.”

“There is something that I wanted to talk to you about,” Kes said.

“Related to Kaya?” 

“And the captain,” Kes said.

“Go ahead,” Chakotay said. “I’m listening.”

“When I was reading the information, I came across a number of sources that agreed on one point,” Kes said, “and that point was that the captain’s behavior for a while could be—well, unpredictable.”

Chakotay laughed to himself. He nodded.

“Because of the hormones,” He said. Kes raised her eyebrows at him. “You’re not the only one that scours the ships databases for information. And I do like to know what’s going on. I feel like—since we returned to Voyager, there’s been somebody or something warning me about—about Kathryn’s moods. Her hormones. How she might react to every little thing.”

Kes laughed quietly. 

“And you don’t believe any of it?” 

“On the contrary,” Chakotay said. “I absolutely believe all of it. I’ve seen Kathryn cry over—over the mention of someone being homesick. I’ve seen her get angry because I ate something that she said she didn’t want just before she realized she actually wanted it. She’s been happy over her weight because our daughter was growing, and she’s cried seconds later because she was gaining weight. I believe it, but I just don’t think it’s a problem. I’m familiar with Kathryn. I’m familiar with her moods. Maybe more so than anyone on this ship.”

“I’m sure you are,” Kes said. “I just wanted you to be aware that there were some things I read that suggested that the captain might have some difficulty bonding with the baby. If that were the case, I wanted you to know that many of us would be there to help you, Commander, while you supported her and cared for Kaya.” 

Chakotay smiled.

“I appreciate the sentiment,” Chakotay said. “And—believe me, I hope that you’re all there to support both of us. We appreciate everything our family offers us. But probably the last thing I’m concerned about is Kathryn rejecting our daughter in any way. She barely puts her down and, so far, she’ll only let her out of her sight to rest if I promise her that I’m keeping an eye on her. I do appreciate your support, though, and I appreciate your concern.”

“If there’s anything we can do…” Kes offered. She didn’t need to finish her statement for Chakotay to understand it.

“Does the doctor’s report contain information about when Kathryn can return to duty?” Chakotay asked. “I know that’s going to be the next thing she asks me.”

“He would prefer that she rest and focus on Kaya for the time being,” Kes said. “However, he’s cleared her to return in a limited capacity in a week.”

“She’ll never last a week,” Chakotay said.

Kes laughed.

“You’ll have to take that up with him. I’m only the messenger.”

Chakotay thanked her for her help, and he saw her off to continue her workday. He stood in the corridor and looked through the PADD she’d given him. It was neatly organized into topics and concerns. Everything he might need to worry about was there. Some things clearly had more information than others.

Kathryn was well. Kaya was well. That was really all that he felt like he needed to know at the moment. 

They’d been through enough that he felt they could get through whatever else they had to face. If the Borg couldn’t destroy them, then a few mood swings certainly couldn’t. The expectation of the documents in the PADD felt too heavy to Chakotay.

He let himself back into their quarters, tucked the PADD into a stack of other PADDs—all complete with reports and such that he meant to review when they had some downtime and he found himself bored with doting on his new daughter and his wife—and he made his way into the bedroom. He would read the doctor’s notes later, but he wasn’t sure that he had any use for the remaining information.

Immediately, he found himself smiling at the scene that greeted him when he reached the doorway and let his eyes fall over the bed.

Kathryn had arranged all the pillows—which were quite a few more than those standardly issued by Starfleet, given that she’d realized a great need for more pillows during her pregnancy—to make herself something of a throne in the bed. She sat, propped up in her pillows, with their daughter in one arm, nursing greedily at her mother’s breast, and a cup of coffee in the other hand. On her lap, an extra pillow held a PADD where she could read it while she reclined and handled the other more important things that needed to be addressed at the moment.

She didn’t look up when Chakotay entered, so he stayed still a moment to simply drink in the sight before him. Kathryn glanced at him when she felt his presence and smiled.

“What?” She asked. “Is something wrong?” 

“I’d say everything’s very right,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn took a swallow from her mug and transferred it over to the bedside table that she could reach. 

“It’s decaf,” she offered. “For the baby.” 

Chakotay smiled to himself. He shook his head. 

“I wasn’t even going to say anything,” he said. “But—you do need some breakfast.”

“Neelix is bringing his famous leola-root-free breakfast casserole as soon as it’s ready,” Kathryn said. “Apparently—it wasn’t on the menu and when I told him not to bother…well, you know Neelix.”

Chakotay closed the distance between them, then, and walked around to the empty side of the bed. Through the night, they hadn’t slept at the same time. One of them had been occupied with Kaya the whole time, and both of them had been occupied with her when she’d decided that she didn’t want to sleep at all and she wasn’t sure what she actually wanted from either of them. 

He sat down on the bed and gently eased over so that he could watch the baby feed. 

“She’s hungry,” Chakotay said, not even sure if he meant it as a statement or a question.

“She likes nursing,” Kathryn said. 

That much they already knew was true. Kaya liked to take her time nursing. She almost seemed to take so long nursing that she was hungry again by the time that she finished. They’d already contacted the doctor to find out how much they should consider normal, but the doctor had given them an answer that seemed pretty reasonable for the time being: Kaya would know what her normal was, and it was best to let her nurse when she wanted to nurse.

“She knows what she needs,” Chakotay offered.

Kathryn laughed to herself.

“Or what she likes,” Kathryn said. “I’m starting to feel used.”

Chakotay reached a hand over to touch her chin. He turned Kathryn’s face to his and she smiled at him before she accepted the soft kiss that he pressed against her lips. She returned the kiss with a bit more enthusiasm. 

“You’re already a wonderful mother,” Chakotay offered. The compliment brought a rush of pink to Kathryn’s cheeks. She looked down at the baby who was half-sleeping through her leisurely meal. “You give her everything she needs.” 

“And you’re a wonderful father,” Kathryn said quietly. “You give us both everything we need.”

Chakotay leaned and kissed the side of her face, and Kathryn leaned into him to request more affection. He gave her what she wanted. He rubbed her neck and shoulders with the hand that could easily reach them and he nuzzled the crook of her neck before planting a series of soft kisses there. She moaned in response to his efforts.

“I don’t compliment you for compliments in return, Kathryn,” Chakotay said. “Just so we’re clear. I compliment you because I mean it.”

Kathryn smiled sincerely to herself. 

“I mean it, too, but I think I understand what you’re trying to say,” Kathryn said. She made eye contact with him and half-furrowed her brow. “Was everything OK? Kes—did she need something? You were out there for a while.”

Chakotay licked his lips and considered how much he might share with Kathryn. She wouldn’t want to hear about the hormone fluctuations she was likely already experiencing and might experience in the future. She knew very well when she was experiencing ups and downs, and she didn’t like for others to point it out. 

“She just wanted to give me some information on—healing,” Chakotay said. “The doctor has said you can return to active duty, with some limitations, in a week.”

“I’m well enough now,” Kathryn said. She detached their almost sleeping daughter from her breast and, when the baby didn’t fuss, she offered her over to Chakotay. “Daddy? She spits up almost every time I do it. You’re better at it than I am.” 

Chakotay accepted the cloth that Kathryn offered him and rested it across his lap. He carefully maneuvered the baby according to how he’d been shown to burp her—realizing how small she was when he held her almost entirely in his hands like this—and he gently patted her back until she burped loudly enough that both he and Kathryn laughed. She spit up, along with the burp, but the amount wasn’t dramatic enough to require more than a little dabbing at her face.

It was enough, however, to make her angrily protest such an injustice.

“Awww…it’s not that bad,” Chakotay offered, moving her around so that he could hold her in a way that might be more comfortable for both of them. “It was just a little bit and you can have more to eat when you want it.”

“Pacifier?” Kathryn asked, offering him the item as she asked if he wanted it. He accepted it and offered it to Kaya. As soon as she’d accepted it, though, she forced it out of her mouth with her tongue and launched into a louder and more ferocious cry over the fact that he would consider something so subpar to be a suitable offering to make to her. 

“She doesn’t want a pacifier,” Chakotay said. “She wants the real thing.” 

“She just finished nursing,” Kathryn protested.

“And she got all that air out of her tummy and realized she wasn’t finished,” Chakotay said with a laugh. “Put her back on there, Kathryn, she’s still hungry.” 

Kathryn laughed at him, but she did accept the baby. She shifted around and offered her the breast that she hadn’t been sucking before. Kaya angrily attached herself to her mother and glared at both of them. Kathryn’s laugher only intensified.

“Look how angry she is!” Kathryn declared. “Look at her little fists.”

“This is why you need a week, Kathryn,” Chakotay said.

“To feed her?” Kathryn asked. “I can feed her in my ready room. I can feed her on the bridge if I want. I’ll make it an order that nobody can say otherwise if I have to.”

“Not to feed her,” Chakotay said. “Or not just to feed her. To rest. To get to know her. She’s a day old. You’re always on, Kathryn. You give everything you can to Voyager. The ship can get on without you for a week while you focus on yourself and Kaya.”

“There’s just one problem,” Kathryn said. She extended the hand not supporting their daughter and tapped the PADD that she had left idle on the pillow propped against her legs. “We’re approaching a system. Four planets that we can detect at the moment, but it’s possible that there are others that aren’t in view.”

“We’ve seen a lot of systems,” Chakotay supplied.

“Inhabited,” Kathryn said. “Signs of warp technology on at least two of the planets and we can detect satellites in their orbit that may even be scanning us now. Tuvok wants to know how we want to proceed.”

Chakotay frowned at her.

“So you tell him how you want to proceed and you remind him that you’re on maternity leave,” Chakotay said. “We aren’t short on supplies.”

“We could at least see what kind of society it is,” Kathryn said. “We had good luck with the Slignates.”

“And bad luck with the Bandigens,” Chakotay pointed out, reminding Kathryn that with their last positive encounter, they also ran into some less than pleasant aliens. “If we’re not in need of supplies, I would suggest that we keep going.”

“Or we could restock before we completely deplete our supplies and become desperate,” Kathryn said. “Especially if it appears that they’re a peaceful species.”

“Fine,” Chakotay said. “But there’s no need for you to handle things beyond giving your orders to Tuvok. I can go down if you want to. B’Elanna and Neelix can handle making out lists of needed supplies.”

“Just because I have a baby, doesn’t mean that I’m going to hide on the ship forever, Chakotay,” Kathryn said.

Chakotay laughed to himself. 

“I’m not asking for forever,” Chakotay said. “I’m asking for a week. Seven days. And then you go back with some limitations—whatever the doctor recommends.”

“Seven days?” Kathryn asked.

“Seven days,” Chakotay agreed.

She smiled.

“Then I’ll recommend we take our time, scan the planets carefully, get a good reading at a distance before we approach. If it all looks safe, I’ll tell Tuvok to prepare to make contact in seven days.”


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Here we are, another chapter here! 

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

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It appeared to Chakotay that Kathryn was going to have an impossible time sleeping soundly, for a while, if Kaya was anywhere near her. If the baby so much as made the slightest sneezing sound of dissatisfaction or desire, Kathryn sat bolt-upright from her sleep and demanded to know if Kaya needed her or was, somehow, starving to death in the ten or fifteen minutes since Kathryn had last fed and burped her.

If Kathryn intended to return to work in a week, she was going to need to rest. She was going to need at least a few hours of interrupted sleep a day. And Kaya, through simply being a newborn, wasn’t going to allow her that as long as she was in her mother’s presence.

As soon as Chakotay convinced Kathryn to get a little rest after her own dinner and one of Kaya’s late evening nursings, he set environmental controls in their quarters to be Kathryn’s ideal settings for sleep, changed Kaya’s diaper, and set out with the baby and the bare minimum of supplies that he knew he’d need for her—a diaper bag that held a few extra diapers, some wipes, a pacifier, and a blanket in case she found the ship’s temperature to be too chilly for her liking. 

Kaya was wide-eyed, so Chakotay started off down the corridor with very little intent about where he was headed. He ended up, without even thinking about it, heading straight for engineering. As soon as the doors swished open, and he stepped inside them, he was aware that he had the attention of every single crew member there. 

“At ease,” he offered with a laugh. “The first-baby doesn’t really like formal affairs. You’re welcome to meet her, if you like.” 

Standing still, he was practically swarmed. Luckily, it appeared that everyone understood that he might be comfortable if they kept some distance, and he might prefer if there weren’t too many hands coming toward his newborn all at once. They hovered around him, cooing over the baby, but everyone seemed content to simply have a look at her and nobody really touched her.

For her part, Kaya looked around her with a forehead that was deeply wrinkled with concern. Her eyes were wide, and Chakotay feared she might be growing overwhelmed, but she didn’t cry out. She tolerated the presence of too many strange faces and too many loud and new voices until they faded out. 

After it was all said and done, and for her brave act of facing so many aliens in a first-contact situation, Chakotay cuddled her and kissed her until she yawned with satisfaction.

“Isn’t it a little early for Kaya to be learning about warp core reactors?” B’Elanna asked, finally coming over to get another look at the baby she’d seen come into the world. 

“It’s never too early to start,” Chakotay said. “Who knows? She might decide that she wants to be an engineer.”

“Maybe when she’s chief engineer of a starship, or designing some new type of core for a future ship, she’ll look back fondly on the days when she was a day old and her father took her to see Voyager’s warp core,” B’Elanna said.

Chakotay smiled to himself.

“Maybe—when she’s training to take over as chief engineer somewhere, she’ll remember how her aunt B’Elanna encouraged her from the time she was a day old,” Chakotay said. B’Elanna smiled. She would pretend, and Chakotay knew this, that she wasn’t cut out for caring for the baby. She might even quote some experience from her childhood where some thoughtless person said something insensitive about the inability of Klingons—or half-Klingons—to care properly for the young and weak. But Chakotay knew that B’Elanna was much more affectionate that she gave herself credit for being. That Klingon passion, he knew, could come out in a myriad of ways. 

The way she looked at Kaya—without even realizing it herself—told Chakotay everything he needed to know in an instant. B’Elanna would protect the child, as though she were her own, with everything she had. Contrary to what others might say when they suggested that there was danger in the presence of someone with Klingon blood, Chakotay might have argued that there were few places in the universe that were safer than the arms of Klingon—especially one with a great deal of affection for their ward.

“You want to hold her?” Chakotay asked, making the first moves to offer over the baby. B’Elanna started to protest, and he read what she intended before she could fully form her rejection of the offer. “I could use a break. She’s pretty demanding.”

He was really fine, and he didn’t really need a break, but B’Elanna needed the added encouragement. She half-nodded and reached her arms out. Chakotay made the transfer and she immediately hugged the tiny baby to her chest and cooed over the surprised and displeased expression that immediately crossed Kaya’s features. Chakotay put his hand on his daughter’s chest and she slowly settled into her position in B’Elanna’s arms, clearly deciding that she wasn’t entirely against the new set of arms. When she relaxed, Chakotay offered her the pacifier from her bag. Without her mother present to offer her a much more pleasing thing on which to suck, she accepted the pacifier, and she allowed B’Elanna to move away with her. 

Chakotay stood in place and watched as B’Elanna walked away with his daughter—every bit as in her element as she had been before the baby had been placed in her arms. Around her, the people that worked under her had returned to their duties keeping the ship running smoothly. B’Elanna carried the baby as she moved from station to station, keeping watch over things, and she narrated to the infant what was taking place at each point they passed. Chakotay had no way of knowing if the baby was listening or what she was capable of understanding, but she seemed satisfied for the time being. 

“Do we need supplies for engineering?” Chakotay asked when B’Elanna settled at the console where she most commonly worked. Kaya was starting to doze in her arm, and B’Elanna used her left hand to work the console.

“We’re set for a while,” B’Elanna said. “The Slignates filled up an entire cargo bay with everything we asked for.”

“We’re coming up on another system,” Chakotay said.

“Warp signatures,” B’Elanna said. “Satellites. We’re detecting evidence that we’re being scanned, but there are no ships in the area. For now, our Borg drone doesn’t know anything about the species.”

“So you’ve heard about the system,” Chakotay said with a laugh.

“News travels fast on a ship as big as Voyager,” B’Elanna teased. 

“Kathryn wants to try to make contact,” Chakotay said. 

“It couldn’t hurt,” B’Elanna said.

“If they’re not friendly…” Chakotay started.

“Then we leave them to make war with their neighbors and we don’t interfere,” B’Elanna said. “We don’t need them and we don’t need anything they’ve got unless, maybe, they’ve got another wormhole to offer us.”

“That did turn out in our favor,” Chakotay agreed. “Sometimes it’s not that simple, though. The whole idea of just leaving if they’re not peaceful to let them make war with their neighbors.”

“Sometimes it’s not that complicated,” B’Elanna said. 

“I think Kathryn wants to be involved,” Chakotay said. “When we make contact.”

“She’s the captain,” B’Elanna said.

“I think she wants to go down to the surface,” Chakotay said, sure that B’Elanna thought he was only talking about Kathryn communicating with the species via hailing frequencies. 

B’Elanna frowned at him, but she looked around. They didn’t have the blatant interest of anyone gathered there, but that didn’t mean that nobody was listening as they worked their consoles and took care of the tasks they needed to do to keep the systems of Voyager running smoothly. 

“She’s the captain,” B’Elanna said. She dropped her voice to the point where it was barely audible. “But—isn’t she on leave?”

“You know Kathryn,” Chakotay offered.

“Leave is traditionally six weeks at the least,” B’Elanna said. “For Starfleet.”

“When we’re not in open-space on a mission that may not end for sixty or seventy years,” Chakotay said.

“Samantha Wildman was afforded her time,” B’Elanna said.

“She’s the captain,” Chakotay said, to echo back B’Elanna’s own words from earlier. 

“Who’s going to take care of her?” B’Elanna asked, looking at the baby. She offered Kaya back to Chakotay and he reached to relieve her of her duties. He wasn’t going to push the woman to hold the baby when she was clearly ready to pass her back to her father. He cuddled Kaya against his chest and rubbed her back with his hand.

“I’ve only talked to Kathryn about it a little,” Chakotay said, “but I’ve got the feeling that the first-baby is going to get to see a lot more than engineering—and fairly soon.

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“Back on Talax,” Neelix said, approaching the table in the corner where Chakotay sat with the PADD, which he’d rescued from his quarters when he’d gone to check on Kathryn, and the baby who was awake and threatening to start fussing if he didn’t do something to feed her very soon, “the little ones started on certain soft supplements from the time they were born.”

“Let me guess,” Chakotay mused, “Crushed leola root? Leola root pudding?”

“Despite everyone’s distaste for the herb,” Neelix said, “it does offer a great many health benefits to those that consume it regularly.”

Chakotay sighed.

“I know it does,” he said. “And mostly I’m just—teasing.”

Neelix put a bowl down on the table. It didn’t smell like leola root, but it didn’t exactly smell pleasant. 

“Combinations of herbs and fruits create supplemental meals for babies that offer them vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients,” Neelix said.

Chakotay eyed the substance suspiciously that Neelix was not-so-subtly offering over as something he should feed his daughter. 

“She gets everything she needs from Kathryn’s—the captain’s—breastmilk, and the formula and synthesized breastmilk the replicators produce,” Chakotay said. The doctor had taken a sample of Kathryn’s milk and broken it down for the replicator to understand it. Based on the sample, the replicator could recreate her milk. It didn’t have the sophistication that her own body had to change the milk to suit Kaya’s ever-changing needs, and therefore Kathryn’s milk was always the superior choice, but it was more personally formulated for Kaya than simple formula. 

“With all due respect, Commander,” Neelix said, “but that replicated stuff is—artificial. This is natural. Real. Grown in hydroponics.”

“And something unsuitable for her very delicate digestive tract,” Chakotay said. “Don’t take this wrong, Neelix, but for right now I’m going to trust the doctor’s advice on what Kaya should be eating. We’ll be just fine with the bottle I asked for.” Neelix frowned deeply at him. “I can get it myself. If it’s too much trouble.”

The mess hall was empty. There was nobody there except Chakotay at the moment. Neelix’s reluctance to go for the bottle that Chakotay had requested—to keep from waking Kathryn to feed Kaya when it really wasn’t necessary—was less about being busy and more about, if Chakotay guessed correctly, feeling like he had very little to contribute. 

Chakotay reminded himself that Kaya was important to everyone on the ship. They all saw her as something of “theirs” and they all wanted to contribute to her care in whatever way they could. Neelix was certainly no exception to that rule. 

“I’ll have that for you in a moment, Commander,” Neelix said, his voice lower and little more sorrow-laden than it had been when he’d been happily recounting for Chakotay how young Talaxians were nourished in the absence of their mothers. He reached and collected the bowl that he’d brought with him so that he could return it to his galley.

“Thank you,” Chakotay said. Neelix nodded at him, cast a quick glance at Kaya who was starting to squirm in Chakotay’s arms and send out the first solid sounds of unhappiness about her tardy feeding, and turned to walk back toward his galley where he would drop off the food before he went to the replicator to retrieve the bottle that Chakotay had requested some time back—the timely arrival of which would have had Kaya fed before she had a chance to work herself up too much.

“Neelix,” Chakotay said to get the Talaxian’s attention. Neelix stopped his forward progress and turned back too look at Chakotay over his shoulder.

“Yes, Commander?” Neelix asked.

Chakotay yawned—something he hardly had to work hard to muster up, especially given the events of the past forty-eight hours. 

“When you bring that bottle, I could use a little relief—if you wouldn’t mind feeding her.”

Immediately, Neelix’s spirits visibly lifted. Chakotay was pretty sure that even the whiskers on the Talaxian’s face stuck out straighter than before.

“Absolutely!” He declared. “I’d be happy to give you a hand. You could—read something or have a cup of coffee. You could take a nap, if you like. Little Kaya will be just fine with her old Uncle Neelix.”

Chakotay laughed to himself. 

“I’m sure she will,” Chakotay said. “And coffee will be fine. I’ll get it myself, though. Later. Right now—I think she’s ready for a bottle.”

To back up what her father said, and to make it clear that she was through waiting for what she desired, Kaya arched her back and put everything she had into making the mess hall ring with her protests against the great injustice that was being done to her.

And without even a second more of hesitation, Neelix scurried off to fetch her a warm bottle.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hello to anyone who’s reading! Sorry it took a while. Hopefully it won’t take me as long to update again.

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! 

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“She’s not hungry,” Kathryn said mournfully.

Chakotay was almost certain that he heard a quiver in her voice. The woman that would face the Borg without showing much concern sounded a little defeated over the fact that their newborn wasn’t hungry. 

Chakotay knew better, though, than to point out that she might be overreacting or that she might simply be dealing with a rush of feelings that weren’t hers to control. With less than forty-eight hours between her and the arrival of their daughter into the world, Chakotay was willing to give her copious amounts of grace on managing her feelings and, instead of ridiculing or scolding, he decided to focus on guiding her toward emotions that would be better for all of them.

“She’ll be hungry soon,” Chakotay said. “Neelix gave her a bottle just before we got in here. So—just before you woke up.”

Kathryn was truly and sincerely frowning at the baby who was very nearly asleep in her arms. She was awake from her nap, dressed in a nightgown because there was no need for pomp and circumstance when her only activities were supposed to be nursing and sleeping, and she was sitting on the bed frowning at the baby.

They had only just gotten back to the quarters and their return woke Kathryn.

“Neelix fed her a bottle?” Kathryn asked. “She was in the mess hall?” 

“I took her to engineering,” Chakotay said. “And then I took her to get a bottle.” 

“She’s been to engineering,” Kathryn said. 

“To see B’Elanna,” Chakotay said. “To—hear about the warp core and everything that goes on down there. Everyone thinks she’s beautiful, Kathryn. She’s really something of a celebrity around here. It’s not going to be hard to find help with her if we need it.”

Kathryn continued to frown at the infant who had, more than likely, slipped fully into sleep behind her closed eyelids. 

“She is beautiful,” Kathryn said. “And everyone thinks so.”

It was the most mournful declaration of the beauty of their daughter that Chakotay could even imagine. 

Before she said anything else, though, and before Chakotay could come up with anything that might lead them to have a conversation that would turn Kathryn’s mood around, Kathryn got up with the baby. She rested her in the bassinet that was on her side of the bed. She’d spent very little time in the thing. She didn’t fuss when Kathryn put her down, though, so Chakotay was sure she must be asleep. 

Kathryn walked relatively quickly around the bed—and around where Chakotay was sitting, making a wide circle—and made her way to the bathroom. She closed the bathroom door, but he could hear her bumping around in there and doing what needed to be done. She was gone for a while, but finally she came out, walked straight out of the bedroom, and Chakotay followed her. 

There were things tucked in a box that would stay there until they managed to get an engineering team with enough time to help them do some work that would provide a door, from their quarters into those next to Kathryn’s room, that would serve to expand their space and provide for more room for Kaya. In the future, she would have quarters of her own, but with their intention to grow their family, the door from one room to the next would serve them with future children as well.

Kathryn grumbled about the fact that they hadn’t done that, yet, as she burrowed through the boxes.

When she growled out in an exclamation of annoyance, Chakotay decided to step in.

“Can I help you find something, Kathryn?” He asked.

“I can’t find anything because nothing is put away,” Kathryn pointed out.

“You said her little nursery was fine for now,” Chakotay said. “We’ve put in a personal request to have a door placed, but that’s going to be something that happens in clear skies and when we’re not planning to stop for a system in a week.”

Kathryn glared at him, but he didn’t believe her expression for a second. There was much more behind the glare than anger. He simply had to wait for the dam to break since she was determined to hold it back for as long as she could.

“Is there something I can help you find, Kathryn?” Chakotay asked. “Something I can help you look for?” 

Kathryn’s glare lasted a moment longer. 

“I’m looking for—the breast pump,” Kathryn said. “Because—she needs to eat every few hours, at least, and I need to feed her every few hours or…or it could disrupt the whole routine, and it could disrupt my milk production, and then I won’t even be able to feed her what she needs.”

She left the sentence hanging in the air, and Chakotay could feel it wrapping around the both of them. It was almost as heavy as the expression on her face.

“And I might have ruined everything by letting Neelix feed her?” Chakotay asked. Kathryn didn’t respond. She sighed.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said, finally, as she abandoned her search for the breast pump and walked around to the replicator to put in a request for coffee. 

Chakotay might have pointed out that caffeine might not be the best idea at the moment, but he decided to pick and choose battles.

“Kathryn, the doctor entered the specifics for your breastmilk into the replicator to produce what Kaya might need in case you needed to supplement. He said he’d update the programmed information as your—as your milk changes over these next few days. You’re still waiting for—I don’t even know, Kathryn. For everything to really work like it should.”

“Which is why I have to be consistent,” Kathryn said. “It’s why I have to—make sure that my body knows how often I need milk. Not confuse it with some idea that I don’t need any because Kaya’s getting fed elsewhere.”

Chakotay was tired. Very, very suddenly, it struck him that he was exhausted. Almost immediately, his head started to pound. He swallowed back against the frustration growing inside himself. When this was settled, he would take his own nap. He would meditate. But this had to be settled first or he would never truly rest. He knew that he couldn’t go to sleep with Kathryn angry at him—even if her anger was possibly fueled by something that even she didn’t understand.

Chakotay leaned over and rifled through the box of supplies nearest him. They’d divided things into extra supplies for Kaya and extra supplies for Kathryn. Although the milk was for Kaya, the breast pump would really be for Kathryn, since he was certain that Kaya would prefer her milk straight from the source. It was the same box that Kathryn had burrowed through, but Chakotay immediately put his hands on the pump. He examined it a moment and then carried it to where Kathryn was sitting on the couch, sulking over her coffee. He offered her the pump that would be controlled, like most any device produced by the ship, by the computer.

“Do you need help figuring it out?” Chakotay asked.

Kathryn took it and shook her head. She didn’t start using it immediately, and Chakotay sat down on the couch beside her. She rested the pump in her lap. She wasn’t as dedicated to the machine as she seemed to have thought she’d be only moments before.

“I’m sorry, Kathryn, if I did anything to—threaten your milk supply or to jeopardize the best chances that you and Kaya have of…of making this work like it’s supposed to. My intention was only to let you get some rest. Like I told you before I left—you won’t rest if you can even sense her presence.”

“She doesn’t even need me,” Kathryn pointed out.

A small laugh escaped Chakotay before he could swallow it down and Kathryn rolled her eyes in his direction. He reached and took her hand in his, leaving her just the one required to hold the coffee that she wasn’t too interested in drinking.

“She’s absolutely dependent on you for everything,” Chakotay said. “She—can’t do anything for herself. Nothing. She’s entirely helpless.”

“And you can take care of her and her milk can be replicated,” Kathryn pointed out.

“If that’s the way we’re spinning this, Kathryn, then she doesn’t need anyone,” Chakotay said. “Not specifically, at least. As long as she has someone with the capability to take care of her and work the replicator, it doesn’t matter who it is. But—emotionally? She needs her parents. Both of us. For different things. She’s already bonded with you, Kathryn. And—I may be able to take care of her, but you’ve got a connection with her that I’ll never have. You can practically feel what she wants and needs.”

He saw a flash of something flicker across Kathryn’s features. He smiled to himself. 

“Your milk is better for her than replicated milk,” Chakotay said. “So—it really should be me that’s sulking into my coffee and feeling sorry for myself. I really have nothing to offer her.”

“You’re her Daddy,” Kathryn offered. 

“And?” Chakotay responded. “She could have another.” He smiled and shook his head when Kathryn gave him a look. “You’re the one who set the standards here, Kathryn.” 

“I wish you had woken me to feed her,” Kathryn said.

“I will absolutely wake you next time to feed her,” Chakotay said. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought I’d let you sleep a little longer and Neelix really was beside himself with wanting the opportunity to hold her for a while.”

“So Neelix has fed her,” Kathryn said. 

“He confirms she’s even more beautiful now than when he brought you breakfast,” Chakotay said. “But we already knew that. He’s excited about the party.” 

“What party?” Kathryn asked.

“Well, I guess we didn’t really envision it being a party, but you know Neelix. For everyone to meet the baby. He wants to go all out and have food and refreshments. A meet and greet of sorts for the first-baby. I told him we didn’t really have any ideas for it or plans so I was sure that whatever he wanted would be fine. I did tell him that I’d talk to you first, though, before he started planning anything or making announcements.”

“What’s the point?” Kathryn asked.

“What?” Chakotay asked.

“Of a party,” Kathryn said. “What’s the point?”

“Letting everyone meet Kaya,” Chakotay said with a laugh. “You announced it, to the crew. You told them that we’d be doing something for them to meet her.”

“And you took her to meet them,” Kathryn said. “So—why have a party now? I wasn’t there, but you took her to meet everyone.”

“I told you I was taking her,” Chakotay said. “So, if it was going to be a problem, why didn’t you tell me before I left?”

“I thought you were taking her to our holo-home,” Kathryn said.

“If you had expressed that was the only place that I could take her,” Chakotay said, “then I would have. I honestly thought B’Elanna might like to see her now that things had calmed down and she’d rested a little.”

“I had hoped that both of us would have the chance to introduce her to the crew,” Kathryn said.

“And we do,” Chakotay said. “Look—she met a few crewmembers who were on duty in engineering. She met one crew member who passed through the mess hall. That’s it. Just as many people would have seen her in the corridors if I’d taken her to the holodecks and brought her back here. Kathryn—I didn’t take away your opportunity to introduce her to the crew. And now? I’m tired and I honestly wish I hadn’t taken her anywhere.” He sighed. “She hasn’t even been to the bridge yet. If you want to—have your own moment? You could take her down there.” 

“You need to rest,” Kathryn said. “I don’t think you’ve slept since—before I went into labor. Not more than an hour here or there.” She took a swallow from the coffee mug she was holding, and then she moved it to the table before she touched Chakotay’s face. Her frown wasn’t entirely gone, but it was different now. “I’m sorry. I should have—done something to give you a break.” 

Chakotay laughed to himself.

“You’ve been busy,” he said. “You had to—bring our daughter into the world. And I think you keep forgetting what a big job that was and the fact that—you need to be gentle with yourself.”

“It doesn’t give me an excuse to be horrible to you,” Kathryn said. 

“You’re hardly being horrible.”

“Or to not think of you and just—to think of myself and…you haven’t even slept.”

Chakotay laughed to himself, again. The current shift in mood he was confident that he could handle. He quickly pulled Kathryn to him and kissed her. She was rigid for the few seconds that the kiss was unexpected, but then she sunk into it and wholeheartedly returned it. Chakotay moved closer to her on the couch and allowed his hands to explore her body, giving her muscles gentle squeezes as he went. 

He broke the kiss only when he felt that it might very well get out of hand—and she was in no condition for such a thing to happen, no matter how much it might feel desirable to the both of them in the moment. 

“I’m sorry,” Kathryn offered again, as soon as she was free from the kiss—her cheeks blushed pink.

“I’m sorry,” Chakotay said. “And I won’t—introduce Kaya to anyone else without you. We’ll talk to Neelix about a gathering. And I won’t feed her replicated milk, either, without your permission. Maybe—this one time—it won’t really affect anything.” 

“I’m sure it won’t,” Kathryn said. “I was just…overreacting.”

Chakotay laughed to himself.

“We’re not using that word for at least another couple days, OK? Now—Kaya is asleep, and I could use a nap.”

“You should take one,” Kathryn said.

“I didn’t intend to take one alone,” Chakotay said.

“I just woke up,” Kathryn responded.

“Resting doesn’t have to mean sleeping,” Chakotay said. He got up and tugged at Kathryn’s hand, prompting her to leave everything there and follow him for the time being. “Come on, Kathryn. At least lie with me for a few minutes. Kaya isn’t the only one around here who needs you, after all.”


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Here we are, another chapter here.

Did you miss me? 

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! 

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Their Talaxian cook had been able to put a party together in very short order when he’d heard it was meant to be a casual affair. There was food for anyone who was hungry after the dinner that they’d eaten even while Neelix and Kes had been putting the finishing touches on the room, and there was cake, coffee, and champagne available for those who wanted a touch more celebration. 

Since the party was meant to be less of a party and more of a passing-through opportunity to lay eyes on the first baby and their recovering captain, they hadn’t really arranged for any sort of entertainment. With roughly one hundred and forty people who planned to pass through the mess hall at any time during the evening, they would need to move somewhat quickly to keep the space from becoming overcrowded or the whole event from taking too long.

Their captain, after all, wasn’t even seventy-two hours post-birth and that made their first officer feel the need to control how long she was up and about—despite how good she insisted she felt. Kathryn Janeway, after all, would swear she could take on the world, single-handed, no matter her actual circumstances.

After a short nap, though, Chakotay had thought it best to go ahead and arrange some kind of gathering. That would keep the engineering crew from discussing the fact that they’d seen the baby while others had not. It would keep rumors of favoritism at bay among the crew. It would also, hopefully, work to soothe over some seemingly hurt feelings that Kathryn had over Chakotay introducing their daughter to some of their crew in her absence. 

During the time between Chakotay’s conversation with Neelix and the party that the Talaxian was able to masterfully arrange at the last minute, Chakotay had taken the time to meditate and find some inner peace to steel him through whatever storms may come during the next few days as they adjusted to being new parents. Kathryn took the time to take a shower and dress in her maternity uniform.

Chakotay had insisted that the crew would not expect her to be dressed in a uniform so soon after delivering their daughter into the world, but Kathryn couldn’t bear the thought of not being well-pressed and put together. She’d had a moment of sadness over the fact that she was still only comfortable in a maternity uniform—like maybe she’d thought that she’d be in her old uniforms in a matter of hours after Kaya’s birth—but then she’d gotten herself under control and dressed their daughter in a simple pink dress that she liked most of the ones that she’d replicated. 

Chakotay noticed that, for her first time out, Kathryn had been careful to choose all the things that Kaya took into public from her own replicated items instead of from the items that she’d been given at her shower. She’d use those items later, without a doubt, but it was clear that she wanted to avoid all possibility of hurt feelings or accusations of favoritism the first time that Kaya was introduced to the people that would comprise her extended family.

Despite his nap and a truly restorative meditation session, Chakotay found himself yawning shortly after arriving at the little gathering. The trickle of people was slow, at first, and the hum of quiet conversation was too soothing for him as a brand-new father with a dull headache that could, at any moment, get out of hand. He was alternating champagne and coffee in sips, until he was almost certain that he would go through all the refreshments, alone, that Neelix had provided for everyone.

As the alcohol and the caffeine began to mix in his bloodstream, though, he started to find a second wind—or maybe even a fourth or fifth when he considered how long he and Kathryn had been running through a fog of events surrounding their daughter’s arrival into the world. Everything was helped out when the number of people started to rise. The shift change brought more people in, and it created a quick rush of those who were being “relieved” just long enough to dart through the room and cast a glance at the newborn before they had to run back out and take their places at duty stations.

It would only be about two hours before Kathryn would have to excuse herself to feed Kaya. Chakotay was hoping, though, that the whole event wouldn’t take that long. He knew it was a bit of a steep expectation to think that everyone might make their way through the mess hall in that amount of time, but he also knew that those who weren’t on duty were doing their best to relieve their comrades long enough to allow them to catch a glance of the baby. He hoped that most of the crew would respect the fact that they might all want to return to their quarters as soon as possible. 

Socialization, after all, slipped lower and lower on their list of desires as time ticked on.

Chakotay stood with Kathryn for the first little while of the gathering. She held Kaya in her arms and fawned over the baby as she was already wont to do. When someone came, she offered her daughter out in their direction, but there was a certain shortness in Kathryn’s demeanor that Chakotay thought made it clear that she was adopting a “look but don’t touch” policy with her offspring. She was a little rigid and even a little distant. Chakotay had suggested as much to her, and she’d given him a bit of a warning look before she’d apologized. She’d changed nothing, though, about her stance when the next crewmember came by to look at their daughter. 

Kathryn, it seemed, wanted their baby to be admired, but she preferred if that admiration came from something of a distance. 

Chakotay had suggested, not long after that, that she consider allowing others to hold the baby—that she pass Kaya around. 

The look he got was on par with what he would have expected if he’d suggested that she allow a scorned Gorn to babysit the infant. 

Chakotay hadn’t insisted any further that Kathryn share Kaya in any manner that she didn’t feel was best at the moment. Instead, he’d slipped away from her and made his way to the refreshment table, swallowed a piece of cake practically whole, and taken his beverages to retreat to a corner and enjoy them. 

Tom Paris found him not long after he’d helped himself to his probably third cup of coffee and flute of champagne—which he intended to alternate as he had the first two.

“Some party,” Tom said, clapping Chakotay on the shoulder and squeezing.

“Starting to pick up,” Chakotay said.

He meant that. He’d been pushed more and more into the corner by the room slowly filling up. At this point, he was doing his best to stay out of the way of the crowd. Maybe it was the fact that he was exhausted, or maybe his nerves were more on edge than he realized—not helped, more than likely, by the caffeine—but he felt overwhelmed by the people beginning to bunch into the mess hall. 

Tom stepped closer to him to avoid the crowd as well. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the mess this crowded,” Tom offered. “But then—it’s not everyday that everyone gets a chance to see what the baby of their captain and first officer will look like.”

“I’m still not sure how we’ll write this in our logs,” Chakotay said. “The whole thing. I mean—we’ve been pretty careful about how we’ve recorded things even in our personal logs.”

Tom laughed to himself. 

“Starfleet doesn’t have strict rules against fraternizing,” Tom said.

“Exact rules, no,” Chakotay said. “But it’s frowned upon.” He laughed to himself. “Even more than that, I’m pretty sure they frown upon the fraternizing between Starfleet Captains and Maquis.”

“It might even be an extra charge against you in court,” Tom offered with a great deal of teasing to his tone. “There has to be a very specific charge for impregnating the captain that captures you.”

“Don’t laugh too hard,” Chakotay said. “You’re married to the Maquis too, you know.” 

Tom hummed. 

“And, in this case, an ex-con turned reinstated Starfleet officer is doing everything he can to impregnate a half-Klingon member of the Maquis. It’s the stuff that holonovels are made of.” 

Chakotay laughed to himself. 

“I’ve been thinking about that more and more these days,” Chakotay said, taking a long swallow from his champagne flute. They were suddenly pushed harder by the movement of the crowd and practically tossed against the far wall, but they both simply moved with the crowd instead of pushing back. Before Chakotay could pick up his sentence again, Neelix appeared from out of the crowd like a burrowing creature popping up out of a hole. 

“Having a good time, gentleman?” He asked, placing an additional flute of champagne in each of their hands. Before either of them could answer his question, though, he simply turned around and appeared to swim back through the bunch of bodies.

They looked at each other and both of them laughed, but neither of them argued against the extra drink as they held down their small spot of claimed land in the far corner of the mess hall.

Chakotay assumed Kathryn was fine. He’d lost all sight of her, but he’d heard no commotion that made him think otherwise.

“You were saying?” Tom asked, some amusement still lingering in his voice as he drained his half-empty flute of champagne to start on the fresh one that Neelix had unexpectedly delivered.

“I was saying,” Chakotay said, following suit and draining his own half-empty flute of champagne—his coffee now almost entirely abandoned, “that I have been thinking more and more about you and what it’ll be like if you and B’Elanna add to the numbers on the ship.” 

Tom raised his eyebrows at him.

“I didn’t realize we were on your mind so much,” he teased.

Chakotay laughed to himself. Things were funnier now that his stomach was full of champagne and coffee.

“It’s been more of the rollercoaster of excitement we’ve been on since—really since just before Kathryn’s labor started,” Chakotay said. “In hindsight, I know there were signs that it was all about to start. There was a shift of sorts. Like tremors before an eruption or an earthquake. And since then? It’s been a wild ride of emotions for both of us.”

 

“And you’re thinking B’Elanna’s going to be a nightmare,” Tom said. “If the captain has been such a handful?” 

“I didn’t say anything about the captain being a handful,” Chakotay said, laughing to himself. “I said nothing—nothing at all about the captain. Nothing except—the whole experience of bringing a baby into the world and starting to figure out what we’re doing with that baby is a rollercoaster ride.” 

Tom hummed.

“Of course, I’d never tell the captain that you think she’s a nightmare,” Tom offered.

Chakotay narrowed his eyes at Tom and Tom laughed to himself. 

“Whatever you think or feel is safe with me,” Tom offered. “Just as long as you—promise to extend me the same courtesy. Those of us who are planning on becoming fathers on this journey are going to need some support.” 

“I just know that B’Elanna can already be a bit—explosive,” Chakotay said. “Unpredictable. You forget, I’ve known her a long time.” 

“You won’t hear any argument from me,” Tom said. “Still, I think that part of me is hoping that it’ll mellow her out a bit.” 

“If it’s anything like I’ve seen so far,” Chakotay said, “it comes and goes. There’s a definite flux there.”

“I’m glad to know that I can count on your support, then, when the time comes,” Tom said. 

Chakotay laughed to himself. 

“Absolutely,” he said. 

“Good,” Tom said. “Then—ditto. You can count on mine. Whatever you need.” He was looking around the room. He was studying the slightly overwhelming crowd. At least, tucked into the corner, they were safe from the almost suffocating number of people bunched into such a tight space. 

They should really thin out soon, Chakotay thought. The concentration of bodies was simply too great. It was starting to get hot. Inside his uniform, he was sweating. He almost wished he could rid himself of his jacket. 

“I appreciate it,” Chakotay said to Tom. He swallowed down most of the flute of champagne. It was beginning to make him feel a little lightheaded. It was more than relieving him of his inhibitions. He was feeling quite relaxed, and he welcomed it. “It feels like I could use all the help I can get.” 

There was a small rise in the noise level. It wasn’t enough to call a commotion, though there was definitely a pick-up in the amount of noise that surrounded them. This many people, though, were bound to cause a great deal of noise. The noise reminded Chakotay that he’d had a headache earlier—the champagne dulled it a little. 

“In my first act of help,” Tom offered, from beside Chakotay, his hand coming to rest on Chakotay’s shoulder again, “I’m going to give you the heads up that—your wife and daughter seem to have just left the mess hall. Quickly. And my wife is right behind them.”


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Hello everyone! 

Here’s another chapter for anyone who is still interested. I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! 

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Chakotay and Tom practically came into sickbay on the heels of the women—or at least so Chakotay had thought—but by the time they arrived, Kathryn was already sitting on the biobed with Kes and B’Elanna close by as Kaya fussed in her godmother’s arms. The doctor approached Kathryn as they stepped into the room and pressed a hypospray to Kathryn’s neck.

“What is it?” Kathryn asked after the medicine had already entered her bloodstream.

“A mild sedative,” the doctor responded, scanning her with his tricorder.

“It’s safe for the baby,” Kes offered without Kathryn having to ask what was sure to follow. “It won’t affect your breastmilk, Captain.” 

“But it will calm the panic attack,” the doctor said. “It’s already lowering your blood pressure and heartrate. Just relax, Captain, and take a few deep breaths.”

“It must be something else,” Kathryn insisted. “I don’t have panic attacks.”

“You’re going through a great deal at the moment,” the doctor said, sounding mostly bored as he tucked away his tricorder. “I can assure you that you’re in perfect health—all things considered. It was nothing except a simple panic attack.” 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Captain,” Kes intervened, “it’s entirely normal to feel some anxiety in a crowd. Even more so with your baby present. Plenty of new mothers would have been bothered with much less.” 

Chakotay elbowed his way through, given that there was no actual crisis, and caught Kathryn’s hand. She frowned at him sincerely, but he wasn’t sure if the frown was directed at him or was simply in response to what had happened.

“Are you OK?” He asked, speaking directly to Kathryn and ignoring the potential middle-men around him.

“Fine,” Kathryn said with an insincere laugh. It was clear that she was calming—a great deal—whether she wanted to or not. “Except it appears that I can’t get through a couple of hours of socializing with the crew without—having a panic attack.” 

She sounded incredulous. Chakotay thought he understood. Kathryn could face down the Borg and maintain her composure. She wasn’t the kind of woman to have panic attacks over a small gathering of people she cared for. Of course, Kes hadn’t been wrong. It was a new experience, entirely, to take Kaya out into public.

“What happened?” Chakotay asked, directing his question to B’Elanna even as he reached for his daughter. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Nothing, really,” she said. “Ensign Parker reached for Kaya. She grabbed her, really. And the next thing I knew…”

She dropped her words after glancing at Kathryn and Kathryn laughed quietly. 

“Go ahead,” she said. “You can tell. You aren’t—betraying some kind of a confidence.”

“Kathryn—the captain—reacted,” B’Elanna said. “She called out and pulled Kaya back. Then—she wasn’t breathing normally. I rushed her out as quickly as I could. I think I scared Ensign Parker half to death when I shoved her out of the way.” 

Tom laughed from his place behind the doctor.

“Maybe someone ought to go down to check on Parker,” Tom offered. “If the captain panicked, I could very well see B’Elanna panicking. And if B’Elanna panicked, Ensign Parker might be the one who got out of things the worst.”

“Oh—Chakotay,” Kathryn said, turning her face away for a moment, though he still caught the flush of red as it covered her skin. “Everyone saw it.” 

Chakotay closed a hand around the upper part of Kathryn’s arm and squeezed. In the crook of his other arm, he held his daughter. She’d fussed at B’Elanna, but she was settling down now despite the tears hanging on her lashes.

“I really don’t give a damn what everyone or anyone saw,” Chakotay said. He sighed. “All I care about his how you feel and how Kaya feels. I think that Kes is probably right. It was too much, and it was too soon. And I should have been there to tell everyone not to make a grab for the baby. This was an entirely hands-off kind of encounter.” 

“You said we should allow them to hold Kaya,” Kathryn said. “To have a more intimate experience.” 

Chakotay laughed to himself.

“And I’m a father,” Chakotay said. “So, I’ll be the first to admit that my experience with the whole thing is a little different.”

The doctor couldn’t have pretended to be ignoring their conversation any more if he’d tried. He scanned Kathryn once more with the tricorder and looked satisfied with the results. He hummed to himself.

“Your readings are returning to normal, Captain,” he said. “You should be feeling more like yourself and less panicked.” 

“At the moment, all I feel is embarrassed,” Kathryn said.

“I’ll find Ensign Parker myself and we’ll handle things,” Chakotay said. “But you absolutely shouldn’t feel embarrassed. Here—I think you need this.” He passed Kaya back to her mother, and Kathryn cradled the baby who seemed interested in trying to squeeze in a nap among all the drama surrounding her.

“Captain—Kaya is only a few days old,” Kes said. “Perhaps you simply need to allow yourself a bit more time to settle into things.” 

“I’m inclined to agree with Kes,” Chakotay said. “You haven’t really wanted to listen to me before, so maybe you’ll listen to yourself.”

Kathryn glared at him. Chakotay felt the ice in her expression. He could practically feel the sting from the lasers she was doing her best to shoot him with as she clearly imagined them radiating out from her eyes.

But, suddenly, he was aware that he had a room full of support. 

“Commander Chakotay is right,” the doctor said. “I’ve made suggestions about your recovery. However, Captain, you have a reputation for ignoring my recommendations. I have the full ability to invoke my authority as the Chief Medical Officer and to relieve you of duty if that’s necessary. One way or another, you need to take some time to rest and settle into motherhood—and that’s an order.”

Kathryn’s hard gaze shifted from Chakotay to the EMH. She looked ready to shut down his program—and she might have if her Chief Engineer hadn’t been present and nodding, with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, in agreement with the demands of the hologram.

Kathryn sighed.

“You don’t have relieve me of duty,” she ceded. She bowed her head enough to kiss the forehead of the baby that had given over entirely to sleep for a moment. Her fit, it seemed, was unrelated to her own needs and directly tied to her mother’s suffering. “But we’ll be near the system in a day or two.” 

“And we have more than enough capable crewmembers looking for an opportunity to make first contact and expand their experiences,” B’Elanna said, not allowing anyone else time to respond. 

“I think—you need to take some time to organize the nursery,” Chakotay said. “And we need to see about getting some crew members involved to open the space between quarters to allow you to really settle in with her. Look—take your shifts on the bridge, Kathryn. Command the away team from the bridge. Do any of that you please, but take your time to get to know Kaya and let Kaya ease into things.”

Kathryn looked back and forth between them all, and Chakotay got the feeling that even Tom must have stepped up behind him to offer solidarity.

“I want someone experienced in handling first contacts on that away team,” Kathryn said. “And I think it might be best to see if Seven of Nine or Neelix has any knowledge of the species before we beam down. It’s probably best to keep Seven of Nine away from view for the time being, though.”

Chakotay smiled, aware that she was giving in.

“Whatever you say,” he agreed. “Captain,” he added for good measure.

“If I’m going to have a lot of downtime, I could organize some work that needs to be done on the ship,” Kathryn said. “And I could spend some time with Seven of Nine. Maybe we can have some—ex-Borg lessons or whatever. Something to prepare her for interacting with the crew a bit more.” 

“I can’t think of anyone more suited to that job,” B’Elanna offered.

“What do you think, Doctor?” Kathryn asked, directing her words at the EMH. “Two weeks of supervising the expansion of my quarters, helping with duty rosters, doing bridge shifts, and giving our resident ex-Borg some lessons in etiquette? Is that enough to keep me from losing my role as captain?” 

Chakotay laughed to himself. He caught Kathryn’s teasing immediately, and it was clear that others did, too, even if it was a bit lost on the EMH.

“Three weeks—not two weeks—of all those things,” the doctor said, “but the hours for all of them dramatically reduced. Otherwise, Captain, I fear that you’re at risk of simply performing as you normally do under the guise of doing less.” 

“Fair enough, Doctor,” Kathryn said with a laugh. 

“And we’ll all see to it that she sticks to the arrangement,” Chakotay said. “Tuvok can handle the away team, I think. And we have more than enough senior officers to handle cutting down your bridge hours except in the case of an emergency.” 

When the doctor released them from sickbay, Chakotay walked with his hand on Kathryn’s back and guided her through the corridors. B’Elanna and Tom had quickly excused themselves and they’d made no show of taking their leave of Kathryn and Chakotay. 

Chakotay steered them far away from the mess hall, but he was certain that the crowd there had already dissipated and Neelix had probably cleaned things up. He would find Ensign Parker as soon as Kathryn was settled and occupied with something, and he would bring the young ensign to their quarters. The young woman was very reasonable, quite level-headed even if she could be a bit over-anxious at times, and Chakotay didn’t doubt that she would readily accept any apology or explanation that Kathryn might wish to give regarding her body’s sudden and, probably, shocking reaction to the thought that someone—no matter how well-intentioned—was making a grab for her newborn.

In their quarters, Kathryn went directly to Kaya’s crib and placed the sleeping infant there. She stayed by the side of the crib and Chakotay was sure that Kaya wouldn’t remain there long. She was, at this point, pretty unaccustomed to sleeping without the comforting embrace of loving arms.

“I’m so embarrassed,” Kathryn said.

“For acting like a mother?” Chakotay asked.

“Not all mothers have panic attacks because someone wants to hold the baby,” Kathryn said.

“Not all mothers make the kinds of demands of themselves that you do,” Chakotay responded. “Kathryn—I’ll fight with anyone over the fact that you’re the closest thing to perfection that I’ve ever seen in a human being, but you’re still human. You have to be kind to yourself. Kaya is new to the world. Being a mother is new to you, just as being a father is new to me. Grant yourself the same grace that you would grant to anyone on your crew.”

He stepped beside her and pulled her into a hug. She came willingly and wrapped her arms around him as she rested her head against him. He laughed to himself.

“What?” She demanded.

“I was just thinking that—at least you’ll know what to expect the next four or five times you do this.”

“As much trouble as I cause you,” Kathryn said, “I’m surprised you would ever want to do this again.” 

Chakotay laughed to himself.

“Ten times more if it were up to me,” he said. “And then some if it made you happy. I’m not half as troubled by what you call trouble, Kathryn, as you might believe.” 

“I don’t even have to ask if you’re happy that I won’t be going on the away mission,” Kathryn said.

“There will be more away missions,” Chakotay offered, dodging the question.

“It could be useful to have Seven of Nine a little more prepared to interact with the crew in a way that might have everyone feeling a bit friendlier with her.”

“She’s Borg,” Chakotay said.

“Ex-Borg,” Kathryn corrected. “Separated from the Borg collective. And I would expect you to be the kind of person that would want us to remember that.”

“My point is that it’s going to take time for people to warm up to her,” Chakotay said. “Even if you do teach her the proper way to have a conversation with someone. Don’t expect miracles, Kathryn. Still—I’m happy for you to have a project that you might enjoy. Just don’t let it get you too stressed.” 

“I won’t,” Kathryn assured him. She laughed to herself. “You certainly haven’t been stressed. You smell like champagne, Chakotay.” 

He smiled to himself.

“You handle stress your way. I handle it mine,” Chakotay said with a laugh. “We’re in for the rest of the day. Why don’t you go and take a bath? Relax.”

“And you?” Kathryn asked.

“I’m going to see about getting a crew together to start tomorrow on some of those renovations we wanted to make,” Chakotay said. “And then I’m going to reach out to Ensign Parker and decide when we can talk to her.” 

“I owe her an apology,” Kathryn said. “She’s probably horrified. Offended.” 

“I bet she’s a lot less bothered than you think,” Chakotay assured her. “And, more than likely, she’s more worried about you. Don’t worry about it too much, Kathryn.”

“When are you asking her to come? I don’t want to be out of uniform.” 

Chakotay sighed. 

“You’re right,” he ceded. “Ensign Parker first. Other plans later. And then I’m going to do a little relaxing of my own.”

“Meditation?” Kathryn asked.

Chakotay hummed. 

“I’m going to meditate on the backs of my eyelids for a while,” he teased. “For at least as long as Kaya will allow it.” He kissed Kathryn on the forehead. “Why don’t you go to the bathroom? Wash your face. I’ll call Ensign Parker.”


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Here we are, another chapter here.

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! 

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Ensign Parker was a petite blonde who had one of those faces that made her look so young that Chakotay might have questioned how she was old enough to be in Starfleet if he didn’t know that she was a year older than Harry Kim. She was human, and small enough that he could imagine—if B’Elanna had actually been the one physically move her out of the way while she’d been engulfed in a bit of a panic—that she’d possibly been flung partway across the mess hall. 

Emotionally, she was fairly even-keeled, though she did have a tendency to swing, from time to time, toward being overly-excited. Chakotay assumed, though, that her over-enthusiasm was likely owing to her youth, her role as ensign, and her eagerness to please. She would grow out of it, some, with age, experience, and maturity.

He hadn’t spent too much time with her, personally, but he knew that she was also a bit clueless at times. B’Elanna had once described Ensign Parker as being the kind of person that she imagined inspired the old “dumb blonde” jokes that had been told on Earth long ago—the kinds of jokes that Tom liked sharing with everyone.

When Chakotay opened the door to their quarters, Ensign Parker stood there rigidly. Chakotay suppressed his amusement.

“At ease, Ensign,” he offered. She visibly relaxed and he waved her inside. She came with bounding enthusiasm and, when she tried to turn down an offered beverage, Chakotay went to the replicator and ordered a coffee service for three—decaf—sure that Kathryn could nurse anything they left behind throughout the afternoon. “The captain will be with us shortly,” Chakotay offered as he put the coffee tray down on the small table so that they could relax in the sitting area. He gestured for the ensign to sit, and she did. “I’m afraid that Kaya is already becoming a fan of her routine. And she doesn’t like to wait when she wants something. She doesn’t understand the concept just yet. The captain is just feeding her and then she’ll join us. Kaya’s a bit of a slow feeder, so we’ll have to request your patience.” 

Ensign Parker practically bounced in her seat, brow furrowed, and Chakotay was glad that he’d ordered decaffeinated coffee. He poured her a cup and offered her the other condiments provided by the coffee service order. He chose to have his own coffee with cream. It wasn’t his beverage of choice, really, but he’d already had plenty of it that day, and he’d drink it for Kathryn’s benefit—the rest of the pot, after all, would go to her when they were finished and Ensign Parker had left their quarters.

“I can be as patient as you need. I’m off duty for two days—so I’m not trying to rush anyone. I know you must be tired and so stressed with a newborn. I’m so sorry about what happened with Kaya and Captain Janeway today,” Ensign Parker offered. “I guess I didn’t think about it. I only wanted to hold her.” 

Chakotay shook his head at her. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said. 

“I need to apologize to Captain Janeway,” Ensign Parker replied. Chakotay shook his head again.

“You don’t,” he said. “It was just a misunderstanding. You didn’t do anything wrong except, maybe, you failed to ask before you reached for the baby.”

The blonde’s shoulders visibly sagged.

“That’s the kind of thing that could ruin something like a first contact situation or a diplomatic meeting,” Ensign Parker said.

Chakotay laughed to himself. 

“I guess you’re right,” he said. “It absolutely could. Is that something you were—hoping to take part in soon?” 

She smiled at him.

“We’re somewhere that, as far as we know, nobody from the Alpha Quadrant has ever been before,” Ensign Parker said. “We’re a small crew. It seems to me that everyone has to be prepared to do any number of things—whether or not that’s really what we would have been expected to do if we’d never left the Alpha Quadrant.”

“You’re right about that,” Chakotay said. “We’re all—thrust into different and varying roles.”

“I think we’ve already seen that—nothing is really like it was back in the Alpha Quadrant,” Ensign Parker said. “So much has changed. We all have to be a lot more flexible than we used to be.” 

“We do,” Chakotay ceded. His coffee was bitter and he sweetened it with sugar to entertain his hands for a moment. Seeing him toy with the beverage must have made the young ensign remember her own cup of coffee. She reached for the sugar spoon just as he was returning it to the bowl. Her fingers brushed across his in an almost familiar way. He paused for a second, but decided that it was better not to embarrass the young woman further. She was already clearly bothered by the fact that she saw grabbing for Kaya as some kind of faux pas that she’d committed—and possibly one that she feared would impact her career on Voyager in some way—so there was no need to draw attention to the overly familiar brush of fingers that was likely nothing more than coincidence and accident. Instead, Chakotay turned the spoon and passed the handle to her. 

She smiled her thanks to him warmly and Chakotay felt his stomach tighten in response to the soft expression.

He cleared his throat. 

“Lieutenant Torres is arranging an away team to go down and make first contact with whatever species we may find in the system we’re approaching,” Chakotay offered, sitting back and putting a bit more distance between himself and the young woman. She sat up a little from her slightly leaned position. “You could let her know that you’re interested in going along. Maybe she could find room for you.” 

“I’m afraid I don’t know much about—making first contact,” Ensign Parker said. “Not beyond some basic lessons in the Academy.” 

Chakotay laughed to himself, relaxing just a moment. 

“You learn more about it with field experience than anything else,” Chakotay said. “Of course—anyone can give you some pointers based on their own experiences. For instance, I could always advise you that—when you come into contact with a mother of any species—it’s best not to make any sudden moves toward her offspring. In fact, it’s best not to make any moves at all until you’ve established that she doesn’t mind.”

Ensign Parker laughed to herself. She drank a little of the coffee she was holding, and then she lowered the cup back to the table. She leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee and her chin on her hand. 

“I have a lot to apologize for,” she reiterated.

“I’m teasing you, mostly,” Chakotay said. “The pointers are real—if you’re in a first contact situation where a mother and her offspring are present. But you don’t have to worry. You have nothing to apologize for, really. There was no real harm done and the captain isn’t angry.” 

“I’d appreciate any pointers you could give me. I’m sure you’ve had a lot of experience. What about—when you encounter the father?” Ensign Parker asked. “Is there anything special you should do with him? To make things go smoother?” 

Chakotay took his time sipping from the coffee cup in his hand. He pretended that the liquid hadn’t cooled down to the point where he could drink it quickly. He ran through his mind a few possible answers to her question, but he could find none that he really liked.

When Kathryn came from the bedroom—with Kaya in her arms and looking as well-dressed in her uniform as she ever did—Chakotay put the cup down and stood up. He wasn’t even sure why he did it. It had felt right at the moment. It felt necessary. Ensign Parker read it as some sort of expected act of pomp and circumstance and she stood as well.

Kathryn laughed to observe the whole thing.

“Please,” she said. “At ease. Ensign—I want to formally apologize to you for any discomfort I may have caused you.” 

“It’s me who should be apologizing, Captain,” Ensign Parker said quickly. “I only wanted to hold her and—I guess I forgot that I should ask, first, if that was fine with you.”

“We were just discussing that,” Chakotay said, settling down on the couch again. He moved a little closer to where Kathryn sat beside him and put at least an inch more of space between himself and the young ensign. He glanced at Kaya. With her tummy full and, knowing Kathryn, a fresh diaper whether she needed it or not, she looked especially satisfied as she leisurely sucked at her pacifier and rested in the crook of her mother’s arm. Chakotay poured Kathryn a cup of coffee, moved it to the edge of the table nearest her, and quietly informed it was “decaf” before he continued with the conversation. “Ensign Parker said she might be interested in getting involved with making some first contacts. I told her that B’Elanna—Lieutenant Torres—is putting together a team for when we get to the new system.” 

“I’d appreciate it,” Ensign Parker said, clearly directing her words toward Chakotay—which she indicated by reaching to touch his arm and get his attention, “if you could put in a good work for me with Lieutenant Torres. I’m afraid she might overlook me otherwise.” 

“Lieutenant Torres will choose whoever’s best for the job,” Kathryn offered. “Especially once we know more about the situation. If you’re interested in becoming someone that joins away teams, the proper way to go about that is by presenting your request to the officer in charge of putting together the team and, of course, by graciously accepting whatever decision they make.”

Chakotay didn’t miss the bit of scolding in Kathryn’s tone. From the way that the ensign recoiled slightly, it was clear that she didn’t miss it, either. 

She recovered quickly, though, and she edged forward on her seat and practically leaned across Chakotay to get a clear look at Kaya. Realizing that she wanted to see the baby, Kathryn tipped her arms enough to display Kaya a bit more for the young woman’s perusal. 

Ensign Parker smiled at the baby. Kaya wasn’t particularly moved, one way or the other, by being put on display for anyone to see.

Chakotay noticed that Kathryn made absolutely no move to let the ensign hold Kaya, and he didn’t dare tor recommend it. From her quick lesson about first encounters and, really, any encounter to follow where a mother was involved, Ensign Parker didn’t ask to hold her and didn’t reach for the baby. She accepted that she would have to admire her from a distance for the time being.

“She’s so beautiful,” Ensign Parker offered. Chakotay and Kathryn practically thanked her in unison. “She looks just like her father.”

Chakotay swallowed back the amusement that he almost choked on when Kathryn’s face responded, likely without her full permission.

“I see a great deal of Kathryn in Kaya’s features and expressions,” Chakotay said.

“Oh no,” Ensign Parker said. “I’m sorry, Captain. I don’t mean anything by it. I only mean—she looks just like Commander Chakotay.” 

“I still disagree,” Chakotay offered quickly, keeping Kathryn from having to find some input. “I see it more with each day. She’s still very young and so much will change about her appearance.” 

“We were just talking about fathers when you came in the room, Captain,” Ensign Parker offered. 

“Oh?” Kathryn asked, raising her eyebrows and readjusting Kaya when the baby began to squirm a little.

“Commander Chakotay told me that, for encounters where you have a mother with her offspring, it’s best not to make any move toward the child until the mother gives her approval. I asked him what his recommendations were for the scenarios in which you encounter a father with his offspring. You know—suggestions to make the encounter go smoother.” 

Kathryn raised an eyebrow at Chakotay. 

“What were your suggestions?” She asked.

Chakotay’s heart thumped a little rapidly in his chest and he wondered if it was just his body doing its best to process the excess of coffee and champagne that still hadn’t finished working their way through his system. 

Kathryn smiled at him and he couldn’t help but smile at her. The expression she was wearing made it clear—it made everything clear. She could sense the way that he was feeling. And she wasn’t blind and deaf, at all, to what he was seeing and hearing.

And he wasn’t imagining things.

He cleared his throat.

“I didn’t have any,” Chakotay said. “I—didn’t get around to thinking of any recommendations I might have. Maybe because I’ve encountered a lot of mothers with their offspring, before, but I’ve never really encountered too many fathers alone with theirs.” He swallowed down his desire to smile at her even more broadly. She was smirking at him, holding most of her own smile back, and her eyebrow was cocked at him in such a way that he knew that—the moment they were alone—she was going to have a good deal to say that she felt she absolutely could not say as captain. He licked his lips. “What advice would you give, Captain?” Chakotay asked. “To someone who was encountering a father with his offspring—and who wanted things to go, as Ensign Parker said, smoothly?” 

Kathryn’s eyes didn’t leave his for a moment, but then her features softened, her muscles relaxed, and she sat back. She crossed one leg over the other and bobbed her foot. She rearranged Kaya again and clicked her tongue at the baby when Kaya let out a noise of disapproval about something around her. And then she looked at Ensign Parker and smiled.

“I think—in that situation, where I encountered the father with his offspring…before I did anything? I’d look for the mother,” Kathryn said. “Inquire about her. Just in case.” 

Chakotay took another drink of coffee, using the liquid to wash down the amusement that he refused to let show in the presence of the young ensign. 

And Kathryn, apparently confident or at least hopeful that her point had been made, went on to discuss the other basic steps she would observe in a first contact scenario of the type that Ensign Parker apparently found quite interesting.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Here we are, another chapter here. 

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think! 

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“The worst part about it is that you look so damn satisfied with yourself,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay had gained, at least temporarily, the right to cuddle their daughter when Ensign Parker had left their quarters. In theory, Kathryn was going to take a bath—a long hot soak in the tub—and then he was going to take a nap. If he were lucky, he might persuade Kathryn to nap with him if Kaya would allow such a thing. 

First, though, they absolutely had to discuss what had taken place during Parker’s visit.

“We have to be reasonable, Kathryn,” Chakotay said. He could read her well enough to tell that she might be a bit irritated, but she still had a sense of humor about things. “We’ve talked about this before. We’re promoting that Voyager become a multi-generational ship. We’re promoting families. It’s only natural that people will begin to pair off—to seek mates. Ensign Parker’s young. She’s going to be looking for a suitable mate.” 

Kathryn laughed. 

“A suitable mate is not my mate,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay smiled at her and rocked Kaya as the baby made a sound. It wasn’t a sound of distaste. She was quite satisfied, even if she was lingering somewhere between being asleep and being awake. She had thrown an absolute fit—going rigid in her mother’s arms with unhappiness about a diaper and then, about a snack to top off the one she’d had earlier—and her loudest screams were what had sent Ensign Parker away, insisting that she had things she had to accomplish before she was wanted for some assignment or another. 

But Kathryn had cleaned Kaya, fed her what she wanted and, insisting that Chakotay was the best at burping her, she’d passed the baby over. 

Really, Chakotay knew that Kathryn tried, as often as she could, to be sure that he got the opportunity to hold the little one when she was in a pleasant mood.

“I find your possessiveness very attractive, Kathryn,” Chakotay said. He smiled at her when she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Every woman’s possessive of her husband,” Kathryn said.

“You misunderstand,” Chakotay said quickly. “I wasn’t scolding. I was being sincere. I find it very—sexy—that you’re possessive of me. It’s very primal and, I think, in short, that speaks to the primal side of me.”

Kathryn smiled at him and crossed the room from where she was sorting a few items of Kaya’s. If all went well, within a few days they’d be expanding their quarters, and Kathryn could begin to build a proper nursery for Kaya. Chakotay didn’t know much time the infant would actually spend in a nursery, but Kathryn was at least seeming a little interested in moving some of her more unused things there. 

When she reached him, Kathryn leaned close to him as she looked up at him. Chakotay couldn’t see, but she might have even been balanced on her tiptoes to make herself taller. The only thing that kept her from getting any closer was her fear that she’d disturb Kaya, and she didn’t want to do that.

“The primal side of you, huh? I like the sound of that,” she growled at him. 

Chakotay leaned enough to kiss her, and she caught his lip with her teeth and tugged it a second before she released him when he pulled away. He shook his head at her.

“We’ve got a wait period,” he said, raising his eyebrows at her. “Doctor’s orders. Or did you forget?” 

“I could do something for you,” Kathryn said, holding his eyes with her own. “Just for you. I could take care of you and any of those…primal urges you might have.” 

He shook his head.

“I’ll wait until we’re both free to do what we want,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn almost looked forlorn.

“There are a lot of young ladies on the prowl around here,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay laughed to himself.

“Even if she is prowling, Ensign Parker is harmless,” he said.

“That’s where most men get into trouble,” Kathryn responded. “Thinking women are harmless. We are very seldom actually harmless.” 

Chakotay smiled to himself. 

“I understand that about you,” he responded. “But Parker is harmless. She’s young. She’ll be looking for someone to mate with.” He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s nothing more than a little—harmless flirtation.” 

“With a married man,” Kathryn said.

“Think of it from the primal perspective,” Chakotay offered. “When a woman is looking for a mate, there are specific things she’s looking for. Just like there are specific things a man is looking for in a mate. A woman’s looking for someone she finds attractive, but that’s not enough. He’s got to be—able to provide. He’s got to be able to protect her. And he’s got to be—well, virile.”

Kathryn narrowed her eyes at him. 

“And you’re just the man to fill all those roles,” Kathryn said. 

“Don’t you think so?” Chakotay asked with a laugh.

“For me or for her?” Kathryn asked. 

Chakotay laughed. 

“It’s probably even more basic than that,” he said, turning Kaya to hold her against his chest so he could pat her back and try to soothe her from her emerging dislike of being held in the crook of his arm. “Look at Kaya.”

“I see her,” Kathryn said. “But we’re not talking about Kaya.”

“She’s a beautiful baby,” Chakotay said.

“The most beautiful baby in the whole universe,” Kathryn said. “A baby who looks nothing like her mother.” 

Chakotay swallowed back some of his laughter.

“She looks a great deal like you,” he said. “My point is that—a young woman, searching for the ideal mate, finds a man who has proven that he can have children. He’s fertile. And he produces an absolutely beautiful child. Seeing that baby? It’s sure to drive her crazy. Kathryn—seeing babies can drive women to want babies. You know that. Even when you were just pregnant there were crewmembers who commented on how just being around you made them want a baby.” 

“And there are women that steal other women’s babies,” Kathryn said. “Across species.”

“On Voyager? Nobody’s stealing a baby, Kathryn,” Chakotay said.

“But stealing husbands is fine?” Kathryn asked.

Chakotay detected a slight hint of irritation in her voice. He decided to tread delicately. He feared things taking a turn from a playful conversation about an Ensign’s misplaced crush and turning into a real conflict.

When Kaya continued to whine about her situation, Chakotay carried her over to where her swing was. He buckled her into it while Kathryn stood close by with her hands on her hips.

“Do you want to hold her?” He asked. “Before I get her buckled in here?” 

“Not if she wants to go down,” Kathryn said. “It doesn’t usually last for long.” 

“That’s because you usually pick her up before it has a chance to last, Kathryn,” Chakotay said. He could see, immediately, that he’d said the wrong thing at the wrong time and he held his hand up in Kathryn’s direction and tried to physically wipe away what he’d said from the air around them. “I don’t mean that’s a bad thing. I simply mean that—she hasn’t spent much time in a swing because she’s spent most of her time in the loving arms of her parents—which is where she absolutely should be as long as they want to hold and nurture her.” 

Kathryn stared at him. He would have given anything to have been able to read her expression accurately. He wasn’t sure, though, if there was anger or frustration there since her mouth was practically a straight line.

“Kathryn—Ensign Parker is just a young woman with a schoolgirl crush,” Chakotay said. “Nothing more.” 

Kathryn shrugged her shoulders. She walked around, straightening things up. Chakotay followed her because he knew that her trip around their quarters was just something to keep her busy while she thought and processed things.

“I’m not a young woman, Chakotay,” Kathryn said.

“You’re hardly an old woman,” Chakotay responded quickly.

“She’s a good deal younger than me. And the thing about men is—they can go on being young much longer than women can. Producing children. Building families. Someone like Ensign Parker could really give you as many children as you could ever want.” 

Chakotay reached out and caught the upper part of Kathryn’s arm. She straightened up, but she kept her back to him. He squeezed her arm hard enough to let her know that he was serious, but without doing her any real damage. 

“I thought you were the mother of all my children. Present and future. I hope to hell that when you turn around, Kathryn, you reveal to me that you’re joking. Because—it bugs the hell out of me that you would really think of trying to pawn me off on some random person just because you think I care about something as insignificant as the fact that she’s a few years younger than you are.”

Kathryn laughed to herself. 

“I would never pawn you off,” she said. She turned around, almost like she was dancing, and turned into him. She drew her arms against her chest and leaned against Chakotay’s chest in a fluid motion. She rubbed her face against his chest like a feline seeking comfort. He closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around her, and sighed at the satisfaction of holding her there. “I love you more than life, Chakotay,” Kathryn breathed out. 

Chakotay laughed ironically to himself. 

“Then why were you trying to give me away to Ensign Parker?” Chakotay asked.

“I would never want to lose you,” Kathryn said. “But—if it made you happy…I’d never want to be the reason that you weren’t happy, Chakotay.” 

Chakotay squeezed Kathryn hard enough that she grunted at him, but she didn’t fight to pull out of the comfortable position when he released the squeeze.

“You’re what truly makes me happy, Kathryn,” he said. He paused a moment and simply enjoyed the feeling of holding her before he continued the conversation with the next thought that struck him. “What’d you do to our children, Kathryn?” 

“Hmmm?” She hummed at him.

“All our beautiful children, Kathryn,” Chakotay said, hugging her comfortably against him. “What’d we say? Last time I think it was four that we were going to have?” 

“Five,” Kathryn said. “Last time we said five”

“All five of our beautiful children,” Chakotay said. “Ten or eleven months apart. Perfect stair steps. And you just threw them away like pushing them out of an airlock.” 

“I never threw them away!” Kathryn protested. She didn’t fight to even move away from him, though. 

“You threw me to Ensign Parker and threw our precious children out of an airlock,” Chakotay teased. “And—my feelings are a little hurt, to be honest.” 

Kathryn sighed. 

“You know I don’t mean anything by it,” she said. “I love you and I love our little family. The three of us. And I want us to have our perfect, stair-step children. But—today really made me think about the fact that there are going to be crewmembers who do try to flirt with you. Who try to see if they can have what we have.” 

“You’re right,” Chakotay said. “And they’re much more likely to do it with me than with you because you’re the captain. And I’m not nearly as important as you are.” 

“There’s not much that I can say to them about flirtation,” Kathryn said. “Starfleet doesn’t have any rules that allow me to throw them in the brig, for the rest of the journey, for trying to have an affair with my husband.” 

Chakotay laughed and pushed her away, far enough to kiss her on the forehead. 

“Then you let me handle it,” Chakotay said. “Flirtation is just that—and I’m capable of handling flirtation, Kathryn. I don’t have to jump into bed with every woman that invites me. Just don’t pay it any attention. Think of it as nothing more than that animal instinct. It’s just—the reaction of women who are searching for mates. And when they realize that I’m already taken, and that I could never love any other woman but you? They’ll move on and find someone else. Someone more appropriate and, hopefully, available to them.” 

“Is that how you’d feel if the shoe were on the other foot?” Kathryn asked. “And it was all the young male ensigns that were after me?” 

“No,” Chakotay said, doing his best to swallow back his smile. “It would eat me alive. But I’m not the captain, and so I would take the demerits I would receive for fighting back. Lucky for me, though, I don’t have to worry about that too much. There aren’t many young men who would try to hit on the captain.” 

Kathryn’s only response was a facial expression, but it said everything that she wanted it to say. Chakotay laughed to himself. He kissed her forehead again, and then he kissed her lips. She kept the kiss going, deepening it, until he finally had to push her away.

“We have a wait period,” he said. “For your health. After that…”

“I’ll start counting down the days,” Kathryn told him, quite sincerely. 

He could feel his body already responding to her words—to the kiss. 

“So will I. Go take your bath,” he said. “Soak. Read a book. Relax. I’ve got Kaya for now.” 

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AN: I don't know if anyone would be interested, but I’m trying to let everyone know that I’m writing a slow burn/”a little help from others to get together" kind of fic called "Love Beyond Time". It includes characters from The Walking Dead as well as Janeway/Chakotay. It takes place on Voyager and in the Voyager timeline. The couples (Carol/Daryl and Janeway/Chakotay) will both be main characters, and there will be minor characters from Voyager, because you know I love ensemble casts. I’ll let you read to find out how everything happens. It isn’t necessary to have seen Walking Dead to enjoy or understand the story at all. There’s absolutely no pressure to read, but I am simply getting the word out/letting people know in case they’re interested. 

At any rate, I hope you enjoyed the chapter here. Of course, we’re never too worried about J/C, but they do have to have some little rocky spots every now and again.


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